As part of Aristotle's virtue ethics, the Doctrine of the Mean can be explained in the following manner: "Excellence in any field is achieved by hitting the mean and not by excess or deficiency. So being virtuous in our actions and feelings is achieved by hitting the mean as determined by reason and avoiding excess or deficiency in our actions and feelings" (Velasquez 470).
Thus, the goal becomes finding the trait that falls between deficiency and excess. In terms of caring for oneself, this may be applied to a variety of traits. For example, a person may be excessively stingy and unwilling to give to anyone. On the other end of this, a person may be too selfless, taking care of everyone else before they care for themselves. Locating the balance comes by sliding away from each of these distinct poles and coming to the middle ground. In this case, the mean may be characterized as generosity. Yet, what if selfishness, in a refined sense of the term, became one's goal?
Redefining Selfishness
In her book, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, author Melody Beattie quotes Nathaniel Branden: "Thus we can begin to see that to honor the self is to practice selfishness in the highest, noblest, and least understood sense of that word. And this, I shall argue, requires enormous independence, courage, and integrity" (Branden in Beattie, 126).
Many people will reject this immediately upon reading it. "Be selfish? That's ridiculous! I have children to feed, a family to care for, a business to run! I can't afford to take care of myself. It wouldn't be fair to everyone else." In response to this, Beattie urges readers to realize the following: "Out of high self-esteem will come true acts of kindness and charity, not selfishness" (126). It is, in a sense, a selfishness that leads to selflessness. It is the selfishness of being true to yourself.
Applying Aristotle's Ethics
How does Aristotle fit into all of this? His Doctrine of the Mean encourages balance. In situations where one needs to care for themselves, it can be beneficial to examine the excess and deficiency of their actions, as well as the mean they are striving for.
"Giving ourselves what we need does not only mean giving presents to ourselves; it means doing what's necessary to live responsibly—not an excessively responsible or an irresponsible existence" (Beattie 116). Utilizing Aristotle's model, responsibility to others at the expense of ourselves is categorized as an excess. Downright irresponsibility is a deficiency. The balance here is responsibility to oneself.
As Beattie pointed out, caring for yourself does not necessarily mean treating yourself to lavish gifts or vacations or focusing on your own needs at the expense of everyone else. Responsibility to yourself involves realizing and acknowledging your own needs and wants, even if there is nothing you can do about them in the moment. Being honest about your feelings and needs seems to be an overly simplistic way to begin practicing responsibility to yourself. Yet, sometimes the simplest answers are ignored because they seem too easy. Often, these are the solutions that work best.
Sources
- Beattie, Melody. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, 2nd Ed. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1992. Print.
- Velasquez, Manuel. Philosophy: A Text with Readings, 11th Ed. Boston: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning, 2011. Print.
Brittney Weber - I play on words like they're a jungle gym, dangling from modifiers and running on sentences.
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